Another Cubicle In The Bay..

Read this now,my fellow sufferers,
for tomorrow this work may invite a ban,
This is not mere cribbing my friend,
I take up the grouse of every working man. (and woman,don't want to be a sexist)

I know I am no genius like Hawking,
Nor like Pitt,my glimpse makes anybody's day,
But what I ask from the Almighty,
is not to let me become,another cubicle in the bay.

Even holding this job involves a casting couch,
It's just probably of a low profile kind,
There is consensual screwing as expected,
But fortunately it's only of our mind.

I knew 'Common sense is not so common',
But I expected a bit as the hierarchy goes up,
and to find it inversely proportional over there,
was as shocking as England winning the World Cup.

After a weekday,even drinking the whole of world's cola,
Won't make me say,"Yeh Dil Maange More!",
But I was curious,so I consulted a lawyer,
'That slavery had been abolished',somehow he was sure!

We can't be doing this to ourselves on our own,
With 'Imperius' curse,we are being controlled,
Rajkumar Hirani may have filmed the story of 3 Idiots,
But stories of 30 lakh other Idiots lie untold!

Life is sucked out of me,each day,every month,
Even Yamraaj seems to have jumped onto the EMI bandwagon,
Some of us even get our asses kicked much more,
than Bruce Lee's enemies in 'Enter The Dragon'.

And let me assure you,I am not the only one,
Even Chidambaram sometimes finds his job pathetic,
Forgive me,if I may have sounded too harsh,
Job Dissatisfaction Syndrome is the most widespread epidemic!


Inspired by a blog post by a colleague and the song,"Another Brick In the Wall"

Disclaimer-If the employers of the author come to possess this piece of writing,he wants to assure them that he really loves his job,more than Nityanand loves Tamil actresses,Mayawati loves her statues and Raj Thackeray loves Abu Azmi!This is just an effort to malign his good name!!

Lalit Laloo and Mayaji

Inside scoop on how finally Pune and Kochi got their franchisees! :D

"Welcome Laloo and Mayawati,"said Modi,
"How can I be of service to thee?",
"We want a team each",said Mayaji in sweet voice,
"Lalooji's will be Patna Bahubalis and mine Behenji's Boys."

"Like most of you,money is all I care about,I proudly say",
"So how much for each team are you guys gonna pay?",
"When 82.5% of Parliament belongs to backward classes and women,",
Behenji says,"be thankful we are asking for 1 each,not for all 10!".

Modi worried now,politely asks Laloo,
"How will you buy players,even if I give the team to you?",
Laloo is offended,"How the hell can you forget the Fodder scam?!",
"Worst case,my 9 kids can form a team,Modi you be damned!"

Modi enraged now,"What have you guys ever done for cricket?",
"You haven't even given a single ex-cricketer an election ticket!",
They say in unison,"If we hadn't screwed up UP and Bihar,",
"Dhoni,Raina would have been engineer/doctor,not cricketing stars!"

Modi relents,"Just take your team and go!",
Laloo says,"Just like I did with Railways,I'll again steal the show!",
Mayaji gets dreamy,"I'll be the Cheerleader Queen!",
"Coz' when I put on my dancing clothes,Preity will become a Has-Been!"

Hearin this,KC Rao for a seperate Telangana team,sits on Hunger Strike,
while Mamta Di for only Bengali players demands a pay hike,
Oblivious,Behenji and Laloo hire KRK,Ravi Kissen as Franchisee Models,
and Mayaji even holds a huge rally in the state capital!

But midway,the rally is attacked by a squad of trained commando bees!,
Mayaji alleges it is the other team owners and orders several inquiries,
But surprise,for the first time an attacked is owned up by Pakistan,
"How can we allow IPL if on our players,you put a ban?!"

Modi has had enough,it's finally time to be a man!
"Why have Pakistani players,when their country themselves has put a ban."
He promises Maya,Mayawati Ka Swaymvar and Laloo,a buffalo every day.
And thus they relented,and the teams went to Kochi and Pune!


Disclaimer-Inspired by True Events and People,but bears no resemblance to truth :)

Kamikaze Love

How far can I run?
If time is my assailant.
Memories her weapon of choice,
stabbing away at the present.

Bloodied by these wounds,
stand you in the bridal gown,
or is it your tears,
that have kept falling down.

Just like the tears,we have been falling,
you pulling me down,I pulling down you,
thinking and believing every moment,
we found something to hold on to.

Misery,the last common friend,
promises a lifetime together,
She's a devil without disguise,
She locked our futures in fetters.

You'll keep trying bandaging the wounds,
I'll try drying those tears off you,
But jury seems to be on fate's side,
and we don't have strength enough to argue.


Random..watched Dexter(TV show bout a righteous serial-killer) Season 3 Episde 12,where he gets married..so just wrote down about a man who is scared of the past and insecure bout the future,confessin to the world/wife/lover.

Delusion Angel by David Jewell

Daydream delusion,
limousine eyelash,
oh, baby with your pretty face,
drop a tear in my wineglass,
look at those big eyes,
see what you mean to me,
sweet cakes and milkshakes,
I am a delusion angel,
I am a fantasy parade,
I want you to know what I think,
dont want you to guess anymore,
you have no idea where I came from,
we have no idea where we're going,
launched in life,
like branches in the river,
flowing downstream,
caught in the current,
I'll carry you, you'll carry me,
that's how it could be,
don't you know me?
don't you know me by now?


The day I can start writing like that,would be salvation for me!

Unsaid

A few smiles kept reserved,
Those many unsaid words,
A lifetime worth of memories in making,
will stay as thoughts unheard.

We didn't mean everything we said,
Didn't speak everything we meant to say,
We could have weathered it out together,
had one of us could asked the other to stay.

But guess it's how it's meant to be,
Probably just what fate had in store,
Everyday I hold onto this belief,
But somewhere deep down I ain't that sure.

Coz' times change and memories fade,
But your conscience can't stay naive,
The more you steer towards ignorance,
Closer to guilt it seems to drive.

The perpetrator could be you or me,
But as victims we both did suffer,
and when our miseries are so linked,
Blaming each other is so much tougher.

It's useless wishing to rewind time,
You carry forward what you are taught,
Those unsaid words and unsmiled smiles,
to make new memories will be sought.

MUMBAI

As fast-paced as a Brett Lee delivery,
and as unpredictable as the Pakistani cricket team,
You might not be able to afford a place to live,
but you will get enough space for a galaxy of dreams.

Raju and his 'bhau' might have a fight over,
who does a 'Bhaiyya' get beaten up by,
The uncle/dad has a better solution,
Lets expand operations to include Paki and Aussie guys.

Considering how the traffic is here,
and that necessity is the mother of invention,
Mumbai will be the first city to have flying cars,
and some Mumbaiikar might just invent teleportation.

Don't blame the BMC for all the waterlogging you have,
For performance improvement,it's Sports Ministry's covert trick,
All the wading,skipping,hopping and jumping around,
Atleast improves chances in swimming,long jump and gymnastics!

The local trains and buses get us 'closer' to each other,
There are means to promote National integration,
And travelling in them makes you so fit and agile,
You could easily take on Baba Ramdev in a Yoga competition.

Take the life of an average guy here,
It has more thrill and twists than a Dan Brown mystery,
And if patience could be converted to money,
Each of us would have made more than Reliance has,in its history.

There might be moments when you feel lost,
As a Brahmin(Non-Kashmiri :D) would be in a KFC,
Hang in and you might just kick some serious ass,
Like Rajnikanth does,in every other movie.

You might not be 'Born Tough' like Ceat,
But this is a place that makes you gritty,
The water supply is surely spiked with some 'Love Potion',
Coz despite everything,you fall in love with this city!


To this City!!

A Tiger's Tale

Now even the boring Accenture techies laugh at me,
So I come here to present my side,
Coz' unlike the diplomats at the Climate Summit,
There's not much left by media for me to hide!

I had thought America had become liberal,
When they handed the nation's affairs in Obama's care,
And now they point fingers at me,
When I have handled just 13 white women's affairs.

Only if I had done this in India,
a few weeks and people would have forgotten it all,
And how can you expect a golfer to be perfect,
he is bound to lose control of a 'couple' of balls.

Indian and Chinese governments are impressed by me,
they want me to lead the population control campaign,
Coz I had 13 affairs but no illegitimate kids,
My God!That's awesomely insane!

My sport didn't involve any physical activity,
so I just found an alternative way to stay fit,
And what else do you expect person to do anyway,
when all he hears is 'High performance.Delivered' & 'Just do it'?

But now even when my wife asks me to'Go on.Be a Tiger',
I just run away and I hide under the stairs,
Coz' I have inspired more jokes in 8 days,
Than Mr.Bush did in all 8 of his Presidential years!


I fully sympathize with Woods' family and was trying hard not to write this one but frankly just like Tiger Woods I simply lost self-control!