Inside scoop on how finally Pune and Kochi got their franchisees! :D
"Welcome Laloo and Mayawati,"said Modi,
"How can I be of service to thee?",
"We want a team each",said Mayaji in sweet voice,
"Lalooji's will be Patna Bahubalis and mine Behenji's Boys."
"Like most of you,money is all I care about,I proudly say",
"So how much for each team are you guys gonna pay?",
"When 82.5% of Parliament belongs to backward classes and women,",
Behenji says,"be thankful we are asking for 1 each,not for all 10!".
Modi worried now,politely asks Laloo,
"How will you buy players,even if I give the team to you?",
Laloo is offended,"How the hell can you forget the Fodder scam?!",
"Worst case,my 9 kids can form a team,Modi you be damned!"
Modi enraged now,"What have you guys ever done for cricket?",
"You haven't even given a single ex-cricketer an election ticket!",
They say in unison,"If we hadn't screwed up UP and Bihar,",
"Dhoni,Raina would have been engineer/doctor,not cricketing stars!"
Modi relents,"Just take your team and go!",
Laloo says,"Just like I did with Railways,I'll again steal the show!",
Mayaji gets dreamy,"I'll be the Cheerleader Queen!",
"Coz' when I put on my dancing clothes,Preity will become a Has-Been!"
Hearin this,KC Rao for a seperate Telangana team,sits on Hunger Strike,
while Mamta Di for only Bengali players demands a pay hike,
Oblivious,Behenji and Laloo hire KRK,Ravi Kissen as Franchisee Models,
and Mayaji even holds a huge rally in the state capital!
But midway,the rally is attacked by a squad of trained commando bees!,
Mayaji alleges it is the other team owners and orders several inquiries,
But surprise,for the first time an attacked is owned up by Pakistan,
"How can we allow IPL if on our players,you put a ban?!"
Modi has had enough,it's finally time to be a man!
"Why have Pakistani players,when their country themselves has put a ban."
He promises Maya,Mayawati Ka Swaymvar and Laloo,a buffalo every day.
And thus they relented,and the teams went to Kochi and Pune!
Disclaimer-Inspired by True Events and People,but bears no resemblance to truth :)
Monday, March 22, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Kamikaze Love
How far can I run?
If time is my assailant.
Memories her weapon of choice,
stabbing away at the present.
Bloodied by these wounds,
stand you in the bridal gown,
or is it your tears,
that have kept falling down.
Just like the tears,we have been falling,
you pulling me down,I pulling down you,
thinking and believing every moment,
we found something to hold on to.
Misery,the last common friend,
promises a lifetime together,
She's a devil without disguise,
She locked our futures in fetters.
You'll keep trying bandaging the wounds,
I'll try drying those tears off you,
But jury seems to be on fate's side,
and we don't have strength enough to argue.
Random..watched Dexter(TV show bout a righteous serial-killer) Season 3 Episde 12,where he gets married..so just wrote down about a man who is scared of the past and insecure bout the future,confessin to the world/wife/lover.
If time is my assailant.
Memories her weapon of choice,
stabbing away at the present.
Bloodied by these wounds,
stand you in the bridal gown,
or is it your tears,
that have kept falling down.
Just like the tears,we have been falling,
you pulling me down,I pulling down you,
thinking and believing every moment,
we found something to hold on to.
Misery,the last common friend,
promises a lifetime together,
She's a devil without disguise,
She locked our futures in fetters.
You'll keep trying bandaging the wounds,
I'll try drying those tears off you,
But jury seems to be on fate's side,
and we don't have strength enough to argue.
Random..watched Dexter(TV show bout a righteous serial-killer) Season 3 Episde 12,where he gets married..so just wrote down about a man who is scared of the past and insecure bout the future,confessin to the world/wife/lover.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Delusion Angel by David Jewell
Daydream delusion,
limousine eyelash,
oh, baby with your pretty face,
drop a tear in my wineglass,
look at those big eyes,
see what you mean to me,
sweet cakes and milkshakes,
I am a delusion angel,
I am a fantasy parade,
I want you to know what I think,
dont want you to guess anymore,
you have no idea where I came from,
we have no idea where we're going,
launched in life,
like branches in the river,
flowing downstream,
caught in the current,
I'll carry you, you'll carry me,
that's how it could be,
don't you know me?
don't you know me by now?
The day I can start writing like that,would be salvation for me!
limousine eyelash,
oh, baby with your pretty face,
drop a tear in my wineglass,
look at those big eyes,
see what you mean to me,
sweet cakes and milkshakes,
I am a delusion angel,
I am a fantasy parade,
I want you to know what I think,
dont want you to guess anymore,
you have no idea where I came from,
we have no idea where we're going,
launched in life,
like branches in the river,
flowing downstream,
caught in the current,
I'll carry you, you'll carry me,
that's how it could be,
don't you know me?
don't you know me by now?
The day I can start writing like that,would be salvation for me!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Unsaid
A few smiles kept reserved,
Those many unsaid words,
A lifetime worth of memories in making,
will stay as thoughts unheard.
We didn't mean everything we said,
Didn't speak everything we meant to say,
We could have weathered it out together,
had one of us could asked the other to stay.
But guess it's how it's meant to be,
Probably just what fate had in store,
Everyday I hold onto this belief,
But somewhere deep down I ain't that sure.
Coz' times change and memories fade,
But your conscience can't stay naive,
The more you steer towards ignorance,
Closer to guilt it seems to drive.
The perpetrator could be you or me,
But as victims we both did suffer,
and when our miseries are so linked,
Blaming each other is so much tougher.
It's useless wishing to rewind time,
You carry forward what you are taught,
Those unsaid words and unsmiled smiles,
to make new memories will be sought.
Those many unsaid words,
A lifetime worth of memories in making,
will stay as thoughts unheard.
We didn't mean everything we said,
Didn't speak everything we meant to say,
We could have weathered it out together,
had one of us could asked the other to stay.
But guess it's how it's meant to be,
Probably just what fate had in store,
Everyday I hold onto this belief,
But somewhere deep down I ain't that sure.
Coz' times change and memories fade,
But your conscience can't stay naive,
The more you steer towards ignorance,
Closer to guilt it seems to drive.
The perpetrator could be you or me,
But as victims we both did suffer,
and when our miseries are so linked,
Blaming each other is so much tougher.
It's useless wishing to rewind time,
You carry forward what you are taught,
Those unsaid words and unsmiled smiles,
to make new memories will be sought.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
MUMBAI
As fast-paced as a Brett Lee delivery,
and as unpredictable as the Pakistani cricket team,
You might not be able to afford a place to live,
but you will get enough space for a galaxy of dreams.
Raju and his 'bhau' might have a fight over,
who does a 'Bhaiyya' get beaten up by,
The uncle/dad has a better solution,
Lets expand operations to include Paki and Aussie guys.
Considering how the traffic is here,
and that necessity is the mother of invention,
Mumbai will be the first city to have flying cars,
and some Mumbaiikar might just invent teleportation.
Don't blame the BMC for all the waterlogging you have,
For performance improvement,it's Sports Ministry's covert trick,
All the wading,skipping,hopping and jumping around,
Atleast improves chances in swimming,long jump and gymnastics!
The local trains and buses get us 'closer' to each other,
There are means to promote National integration,
And travelling in them makes you so fit and agile,
You could easily take on Baba Ramdev in a Yoga competition.
Take the life of an average guy here,
It has more thrill and twists than a Dan Brown mystery,
And if patience could be converted to money,
Each of us would have made more than Reliance has,in its history.
There might be moments when you feel lost,
As a Brahmin(Non-Kashmiri :D) would be in a KFC,
Hang in and you might just kick some serious ass,
Like Rajnikanth does,in every other movie.
You might not be 'Born Tough' like Ceat,
But this is a place that makes you gritty,
The water supply is surely spiked with some 'Love Potion',
Coz despite everything,you fall in love with this city!
To this City!!
and as unpredictable as the Pakistani cricket team,
You might not be able to afford a place to live,
but you will get enough space for a galaxy of dreams.
Raju and his 'bhau' might have a fight over,
who does a 'Bhaiyya' get beaten up by,
The uncle/dad has a better solution,
Lets expand operations to include Paki and Aussie guys.
Considering how the traffic is here,
and that necessity is the mother of invention,
Mumbai will be the first city to have flying cars,
and some Mumbaiikar might just invent teleportation.
Don't blame the BMC for all the waterlogging you have,
For performance improvement,it's Sports Ministry's covert trick,
All the wading,skipping,hopping and jumping around,
Atleast improves chances in swimming,long jump and gymnastics!
The local trains and buses get us 'closer' to each other,
There are means to promote National integration,
And travelling in them makes you so fit and agile,
You could easily take on Baba Ramdev in a Yoga competition.
Take the life of an average guy here,
It has more thrill and twists than a Dan Brown mystery,
And if patience could be converted to money,
Each of us would have made more than Reliance has,in its history.
There might be moments when you feel lost,
As a Brahmin(Non-Kashmiri :D) would be in a KFC,
Hang in and you might just kick some serious ass,
Like Rajnikanth does,in every other movie.
You might not be 'Born Tough' like Ceat,
But this is a place that makes you gritty,
The water supply is surely spiked with some 'Love Potion',
Coz despite everything,you fall in love with this city!
To this City!!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
A Tiger's Tale
Now even the boring Accenture techies laugh at me,
So I come here to present my side,
Coz' unlike the diplomats at the Climate Summit,
There's not much left by media for me to hide!
I had thought America had become liberal,
When they handed the nation's affairs in Obama's care,
And now they point fingers at me,
When I have handled just 13 white women's affairs.
Only if I had done this in India,
a few weeks and people would have forgotten it all,
And how can you expect a golfer to be perfect,
he is bound to lose control of a 'couple' of balls.
Indian and Chinese governments are impressed by me,
they want me to lead the population control campaign,
Coz I had 13 affairs but no illegitimate kids,
My God!That's awesomely insane!
My sport didn't involve any physical activity,
so I just found an alternative way to stay fit,
And what else do you expect person to do anyway,
when all he hears is 'High performance.Delivered' & 'Just do it'?
But now even when my wife asks me to'Go on.Be a Tiger',
I just run away and I hide under the stairs,
Coz' I have inspired more jokes in 8 days,
Than Mr.Bush did in all 8 of his Presidential years!
I fully sympathize with Woods' family and was trying hard not to write this one but frankly just like Tiger Woods I simply lost self-control!
So I come here to present my side,
Coz' unlike the diplomats at the Climate Summit,
There's not much left by media for me to hide!
I had thought America had become liberal,
When they handed the nation's affairs in Obama's care,
And now they point fingers at me,
When I have handled just 13 white women's affairs.
Only if I had done this in India,
a few weeks and people would have forgotten it all,
And how can you expect a golfer to be perfect,
he is bound to lose control of a 'couple' of balls.
Indian and Chinese governments are impressed by me,
they want me to lead the population control campaign,
Coz I had 13 affairs but no illegitimate kids,
My God!That's awesomely insane!
My sport didn't involve any physical activity,
so I just found an alternative way to stay fit,
And what else do you expect person to do anyway,
when all he hears is 'High performance.Delivered' & 'Just do it'?
But now even when my wife asks me to'Go on.Be a Tiger',
I just run away and I hide under the stairs,
Coz' I have inspired more jokes in 8 days,
Than Mr.Bush did in all 8 of his Presidential years!
I fully sympathize with Woods' family and was trying hard not to write this one but frankly just like Tiger Woods I simply lost self-control!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Lovefool :D
I thought 'Love at first sight' was idle imagination,
just like 'Kaala bandar' from Delhi-6,
Now I feel like BJP questioning its own ideology,
I have never been in a bigger fix.
You were 'An Inconvenient Truth' for me,
Bigger than the one told by Mr. Al Gore,
Like Wasim Akram's yorker to a Bangladeshi batsman,
You bowled me out for sure.
My heart began beating so fast,
It could have been the engine of an F1 car,
I wouldn't have been intoxicated half as much,
even on gulping down the whole of Mallya's bar.
I could have become a translator by profession,
what everyone spoke sounded Greek & Latin to me,
Gonna write CAT through handicapped-partially blind quota,
Coz' you were the only thing that I could see.
Not even an AIIMS doctor could save me,
being bitten by love bug is a terminal case,
I was as paralyzed as a politician is,
when a terror attack takes place.
You are my desi Kylie Minogue,
Chiggy wiggy is all I want to do,
Forgive me all this bullshit,
Just want to say I've fallen for you :D
Couldn't let November end without a blog entry :)
Title courtesy-Aakriti
just like 'Kaala bandar' from Delhi-6,
Now I feel like BJP questioning its own ideology,
I have never been in a bigger fix.
You were 'An Inconvenient Truth' for me,
Bigger than the one told by Mr. Al Gore,
Like Wasim Akram's yorker to a Bangladeshi batsman,
You bowled me out for sure.
My heart began beating so fast,
It could have been the engine of an F1 car,
I wouldn't have been intoxicated half as much,
even on gulping down the whole of Mallya's bar.
I could have become a translator by profession,
what everyone spoke sounded Greek & Latin to me,
Gonna write CAT through handicapped-partially blind quota,
Coz' you were the only thing that I could see.
Not even an AIIMS doctor could save me,
being bitten by love bug is a terminal case,
I was as paralyzed as a politician is,
when a terror attack takes place.
You are my desi Kylie Minogue,
Chiggy wiggy is all I want to do,
Forgive me all this bullshit,
Just want to say I've fallen for you :D
Couldn't let November end without a blog entry :)
Title courtesy-Aakriti
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