Rage against Age

As a kid running around in a multi coloured shorts and a mickey mouse t-shirt around the home all day,all I could want,was to grow up.Get the freedom,enjoy it,abuse it and in some rare moments perhaps put it to good use.As years keep passing the yearning to grow up keeps reducing and now i have reached a stage where I wish I was something like Benjamin Button(or perhaps his desi version..Potli Baba).It's not as if I don't like the freedom,but I guess even a responsible person doesn't like responsibilities,how can I?There is more to cope up with,more to handle yourselves,more complications and yet the things that make you happy keep gettin lesser and lesser.So damn unfair!!Here's how growing up has been:

Circa 1997,I am 10-happiness is all about playing cricket,videogames and running and climbing terraces and walls.Sadness is perhaps just being whacked by my mom

Circa 2000,the corruption starts-slowly and steadily you are becoming a part of the rat-race,though the ideas of love is probably limited to having a crush on Priety Zinta.Thoughts of career are still pretty vague..it's engineer today,lawyer tomorrow,armed forces the next but getting wet in the rain still makes me happy.

Circa 2003,the dark forces have got me-10 boards,I am officially a part of the whole circus.I am sure I am in love(though I don't know what it is!)...I leave the small pond and enter the big lake(come to Mumbai)...get a bit lost..leave the only chick who I liked who liked me(someone's kaala jadoo for sure)..impressing people becomes an action and not a result.

Circa 2005,the chemical romance begins-the bloody competition,it kills..though I ended up with 6 admits and perhaps picked up not the best one.I take up something as a probable profession just because I liked it,no other thought.Start of the major ass kicking days.Start boozing just to prove that I ain't a nice guy(the thousands spent and for what?though beer was the only good thing to come out of this phase.One of teachers back in 6th told me it was good for health and I was scandalized at that time,she has to see me now!).Career becomes a reality,not a figment of childhood fantasies.I start noticing that nearly half the world is of the opposite sex.

Circa 2009,Keep walking-I don't know how and in what direction my career is gonna shape up.I dont know if I like someone.I don't know how anything is gonna shape up and miss the days when I could change my profession everyday according to my whims and fancies,happiness was just about being graded 'Good' by the teacher,sadness was just having a silly fight with your best friend,love was just liking someone and being with them.

As we grow up,our tendency to be hurt,to hurt,to be scared,to feel lost increases while instances of being happy,doing something nice,being selfless,to forgive,to trust which I thought would increase,keep on reducing.

And yet as long as I can see a kid and smile,I know it's worth giving my best shot.