Pakistan Cricket's Woes Continue

'How the Mighty have fallen.'The words of a Pakistani Cricket Team supporter after they lost to Afghanistan in the Asian Games cricket event.

Though many feel that this loss to Afghanistan was at behest of the Pakistan Cricket Board(PCB) as goodwill gesture for appointing Rashid Latif,the former Pakistan wicketkeeper as their coach,for with his English and Cricketing skills,he would have starved to death otherwise,many feel it was another example of the pathetic state of the Pakistan Cricket Team.

The past 2 years has seen them lose, 10 of 19 and 26 of 38 of their Tests and ODIs respectively.The only saving grace believed to be the T20 world cup win in 2009.

But the real downfall started in 2002,when 6 suspected HUJI terrorists failed in their plot to kidnap Indian cricketers,Sachin Tendulkar and Saurav Ganguly.

A source from PISS(Pakistan International Sportsmen Society),on condition of anonimity told us,"Unlike what the Indian authorities believe that the two would have been ransomed in exchange of jailed terrorists,Pakistan would have given citizenship to the two and asked them to play for us.This plot was formulated by our smartest cricketer,Shoaib Malik,who has an IQ of 31".Incidentially,his batting average is higher than his IQ.

Many also blame this failed bid to kidnap the two Indian stars as the reason for spot-fixing scandal that has plagued the Pak cricket team.Sir Illaiya Nunnuswami,a British lawyer associated with CRAB(Cricketers Regularly Accused of Betting) told us in a matter-of-fact tone,"Had this plot succeeded,who knows how much money PCB would have made.There would have been no need for players to indulge in spot-fixing.After all,Sachin's yearly income would be way higher than the Market Capitalisation of all the companies on Karachi Stock Exchange put together"

Mohammed Amir,the 18-year-old pace sensation,who was in the eye of the storm during the spot-fixing scandal sounded disappointed,"After the publicity that Kasab got,even terrorists from my village were getting higher wages than our international cricketers.What would you have me do,throw no-balls or hand grenades?"

A source close to the team said,"Bismillah-al-Rehman-al-Rahim.Sabse pehle Allah taala ka shukriya karunga.Boys aajkal bahut maayus hain.Aur vo jaun se serial mein Veena Malik ko 'Aaashmit Aaashmit' karte dekh ke toh janaab khoon khaul jaata hai.Bechara Asif.Boys itni achchi performance dete hain,us begairat aurat se zaada achchi acting karte hain,phir bhi unki thoo-thoo hoti hai.Boys ki khwahish hai ki wo ek Hollywood movie mein act karein.Insha-Allah,we bounce back!".

There are unconfirmed reports that M.Night Shyamalan,whose directorial ventures have just been falling apart like the Pakistani Team,has been approached by Shoaib Akhtar to direct a movie with him as the lead and Virender Sehwag as his nemesis.

There has also been discontent over the PCB banning Twitter and Facebook for Pakistani cricketers.Nilofer Bano,chairperson PETA(Pakistan English Teachers' Association),was pretty much outraged,"I myself know of 3 cricketers who have spent their whole annual income to learn English so that they can Tweet without shame.Is this the way PCB would encourage the spirit of learning and considering how less they play these days,they need Facebook for timepass,don't they?!"

But there is hope that all is not lost yet,the Pakistani Team is embarking on a tour of Newzealand to face the Black Caps who were beaten black and blue by Bangladesh and India(4-0 and 5-0 respectively) recently.Waqar Younis,the current Pakistani Coach before embarking on this tour,said,"This is the best possible preparation we can have for the World Cup 2011".No one could disagree with him on that one!