Monday, December 31, 2012

Words

23 years. Barring the weekends, I everyday have taken the 8.10 am local to work. Wave a quick goodbye to my wife who drops me at the station, rush to platform 3 and wait. Then find a way through the hordes, somehow board the train, quickly run to the corner seat and take out a newspaper and read for the next hour till reaching my destination.

It was another similar day. Waved my wife goodbye, ran to platform 3 and waited. The train came, I plunged into the mass rushing into it and moved towards my corner seat only to find it taken. I grumbled aloud, started looking for another seat and finally found one near the door. Still indignant over being displaced, I kept glaring at the usurper as I fiddled through my bag to locate the newspaper. As I took it out and turned my furious eyes towards it, the front page boldly proclaimed yesterday's date and I despairingly realized that I had forgotten picking up today's paper. Cursing aloud, blaming myself and the world in general  for making the day horrendous, I began pondering my options for occupying my mind for the next hour and as the train stopped at one of the stations, I accepted grudgingly that I had to contend myself with scanning the faces around me.

It was then that she caught my eye. Not that her appearance was an anomaly in either extremes or that she tried to attract any attention. Dressed in fading and over-sized ragged clothes with a bundle in her hands, she was barely able to get on the train as it sped away from the platform. The people standing near the door yelled angrily at her, mouthing obscenities and she fearfully ducked away from them and settled down on the floor between the doors on either sides. She peeked into her bundle and continued to smile beatifically looking at its contents till she was accidentally shoved by one of the standing passengers. It seemed to have disturbed her from a reverie for she was startled and then stormily stood up and started screaming loudly at the guilty passenger.

Despite myself, curiosity got the better of me and I leaned over to see what was in the bundle and was surprised to find an infant wrapped in it. Perhaps noticing an alien set of eyes on it, the child started screaming out its lungs and I started fearing a rebuke from the woman but despite its loud cries, the woman seemed oblivious to the child and had her attentions focused on the now-irate passenger.

I drew back quickly and paid attention to the woman's screaming only to realize that she was uttering incomprehensible noises and was perhaps mute. The passenger seems to have noticed the crying infant for he pointed towards it and as soon as the woman looked back and saw the child crying, she quickly bent down and picked it up and started cajoling it with incomprehensible sounds. The child quickly grew silent, as if it could completely understand its deaf-mute mother's unique language.

All I could do for the remainder of the journey was to watch that woman who without a spoken word from either side was engaged in an extremely coherent conversation with the infant and for the first time in years I felt something stir my soul.

As I got off the train, I realized that everyday, in that sea of humanity, I had become less and less humane; losing my innocence, optimism and empathy, bit by bit as I withdrew more and more into myself. My thoughts kept returning to the woman, who would never be able to say anything or listen to what the child would say for a lifetime. I could only wonder at the lot of us who do have the ability for both, but in our ego, fear, anger, arrogance, leave so many things unsaid and refuse to listen to as much. I could only think of all the people who I had stopped communicating with over the years. I could only feel guilty about the fact that I had nothing to say to my wife of 20 years apart from waving a simple goodbye.

It was ironical and poetic that it took an encounter with a woman who could not speak or listen. for me to realize that we fail to recognize the gifts that we have been bestowed with. A kind word, an expected response, an encouraging sentence, an expressed emotion could make someone's day, perhaps even someone's life better.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Smokescreen

Engulfing me,
Hauntingly slow,
Becoming part of you,
Before I could know.

Making me an addict,
with your intoxication,
content I float,
devoid of sensation.

I begin to see,
what I wish to,
Giving you a form,
that I hold onto.



And like smoke,
you drift away,
shapeless,formless,
finding your own way.



Monday, August 27, 2012

The End..

Bridging the differences,
through intoxication,
Escaping reality,
by embracing commotion.

The music soon fades,
Thoughts in each head,
Eyes averted,
& no words are said.

Pretensions like dominoes,
fall away one by one,
The smiles are crushed,
by the veiled burden.

Cursed with incorrigibility,
Search for a haven,
Live through another night,
In suspended animation.

A haze of smoke,
An empty glass,
is what the night left behind,
is all that lasts.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

उम्मीद की आस

जब पत्ते सब झडे,उम्मीद बचाई सीने में|
अब पेड़ ही न रहे खड़े,तो क्यों आस रहेगी जीने में|

जब अरसों बारिश नहीं बरसी,उम्मीद बचाई सीने में|
अब आँखें आंसुओं को भी तरसी,तो क्यों आस बचेगी जीने में|

जब खाली हुए शराब के प्याले,उम्मीद बचाई सीने में|
अब मैखाने पे पड़ गए ताले,तो क्यों आस रहेगी जीने में|

जब ज़माने से मुंह मोड़ा था,उम्मीद बचाई सीने में|
अब जो तुमने साथ छोड़ा है,तो क्यों आस रहेगी जीने में|

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

A Man in Rag Mopes..

He never hires his heirs,
Those aides with ideas,
who use words as sword,
to lure and then rule.

Like the leper who repel,
Runts at all turns,
Risen by a siren,men fight,
led by saints with stains.

But He tires of their rites,
& spit on those pits called religion,
Saying 'strap the parts together,
or leave the ache to each'

But the hearts on earths,
stay rife with fire,
The heat of hate rises,
As Dogs worship Gods.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Conquest

I sat back resplendently,
Ignoring all the prevalent signs,
of you coming along,
Claiming what was rightfully mine.

Backed by an army of our memories,
Through pathways only you could find,
Creating a fortress for yourself,
And occupying the whole of my mind.

I tried maintaining illusions of control,
And valiantly all my senses fought,
Till you conquered everything,
My hopes,my dreams,my thoughts.

And now I stand vanquished,
Having relinquished all I once knew,
Yet failing to accept my only failing,
That I always belonged to you.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

ये शहर कुछ अजीब है


ये शहर कुछ अजीब है,
हकीकत धुंदली,ख्वाब करीब है|

कहीं दो रोटी के लिए भागदौड़ है,
कहीं खाते खाते शरीर चौड़ है|

कहीं सोने को फूटपाथ नहीं,
कहीं जश्न चलते सारी रात हैं|

कहीं चार मज़हब के लोग ट्रेन की एक सीट पे हैं,
कहीं लोगों को बांटने के लिए मारपीट है|

कहीं हर अजनबी को शहर में जगह दे,
कहीं अपने पडोसी का नाम न बता सके|

ये शहर कुछ अजीब है,
ख्वाबों की चाहत है,हकीकत नसीब है|

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Farewell to Arms..

"Pick up the gun and shoot asshole"

I stare silently and intently at the intimidating piece of black metal.It has been weeks since I last used it. And now even though I just want to pick it up and shoot,I can do nothing but stare at it.

"You are a sissy piece of shit!What are you scared of?Haven't you killed anyone before?Look at yourself in the mirror,shivering like a 15 year old bride on her first night"

I shrug off the insult,worse have been hurled at me and after all words can never hurt as much as bullets right?

I hear her voice,soothing,comforting,the only promise in the bleakness of my accursed life but I know it's just in my head.I start smiling wryly.

"You have lost it!You have become crazy.Now do what I say and finish it off"

I am not insane but they snatched away the only sane thing I ever possessed,shooting her in cold-blood right in front of my eyes.I would have wished myself dead if I did not wish to kill those who killed her.I vowed vengeance and it kept me alive in my darkest days.

"Stop ranting uselessly and finish off what you started.It was all meant to be this way.Stop having different ideas.Never think too much.You think too much,you die"

He says this and he starts laughing maniacally.

Three weeks since I killed the last of them.After that I have sat every evening like this,wondering what's next.

"You have suffered enough punishment and there's no redemption for you.The only option you have is in front of you"

He talks shit.He really does but it is also true.One's conscience doesn't lie.As I pick up the gun,point it at my own head and shoot,he calmly says 'those who live by the gun,die by it'


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Lost Souls


Tortured yet hopeful,
Like the parched land,
Moving but nowhere,
Floating like particles of sand.

A zealot's belief,
Each other's faith as well as fault,
Groping at what could be,
yet wishing for the moment to halt.

Like two compatible imperfections,
Creating a separate perfect world,
Forgetting that we are aberrations but,
Fretting when their machinations unfurl.

And hoping to find some hope,
We scavenge across their Universe,
Trying to find a place to hide,
while our happiness they vilely curse.

They make themselves to break us,
The Society,rules,expectations,destiny,
And yet here we are today,
the only place we were meant to be.

We find solace in each other,
for we are simply two lost souls,
wanting to be ourselves separately,
yet together seeking to be whole.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Labyrinth..

Lead me and then leave me,
Each time in different ways,
You delight,you disappoint,
A maze that ceases to amaze.

I keep staring at you,
You amuse,you confuse,
I ask just question of you,
The answer you always refuse.

Intrigued,I delve deeper,
And just get more lost in you,
More I try deciphering you,
You just bring me back when you want to.

A part of me wants to stop moving ahead,
But I am like the mice on the wheel,
Countless hours I try resisting uselessly,
It's as if with the devil I made a deal.

Deceiving me with every turn,
Then providing passages to make me think,
Till I lose all desire to leave you,
You are my Labyrinth.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Pappu Ki Tharak..

Pappu baitha tha in office,
Umar ho gayi thi uski tees,
Ghar ho ya ho office ki building,
Har jagah try karta fielding.

Tharak,Pappu ki Tharak,
Na bachi koi gali,na koi sadak.

Par kaise milegi koi ladki,
Jab zindagi mein ho kadki,
7 digit salary ek sawaal,ek khwaab,
Fir Pappu ki tharak ne diya use jawaab.

Pappu beta kar le tu MBA,
CAT dekar pahuncha IIM K,
Pappu ko laga he is in heaven,
Campus mein paayi 35% women.

Tharak,Pappu ki Tharak,
Na bachi koi gali,na koi sadak.

Pappu chahe ladkiyaan saari,
par har ladki ne use GPL maari,
Pappu hua udaas,bana Devdas,
Raat mein daaru aur din mein grass.

Placement ne badhaye Pappu ke gum,
Location paayi Kunnamanglam,
Beete kuch saal,Pappu bana ek Cheta,
Aur us se bada kameena,nikla uska beta,

Pappu ki tharak use paas on hui thodi,
Saale ne Kunnamanglam ki ek chechi na chodhi,
Tharak,Pappu ki Tharak,
Na bachi koi gali,na koi sadak.


First attempt at song writing :P