Farewell to Arms..

"Pick up the gun and shoot asshole"

I stare silently and intently at the intimidating piece of black metal.It has been weeks since I last used it. And now even though I just want to pick it up and shoot,I can do nothing but stare at it.

"You are a sissy piece of shit!What are you scared of?Haven't you killed anyone before?Look at yourself in the mirror,shivering like a 15 year old bride on her first night"

I shrug off the insult,worse have been hurled at me and after all words can never hurt as much as bullets right?

I hear her voice,soothing,comforting,the only promise in the bleakness of my accursed life but I know it's just in my head.I start smiling wryly.

"You have lost it!You have become crazy.Now do what I say and finish it off"

I am not insane but they snatched away the only sane thing I ever possessed,shooting her in cold-blood right in front of my eyes.I would have wished myself dead if I did not wish to kill those who killed her.I vowed vengeance and it kept me alive in my darkest days.

"Stop ranting uselessly and finish off what you started.It was all meant to be this way.Stop having different ideas.Never think too much.You think too much,you die"

He says this and he starts laughing maniacally.

Three weeks since I killed the last of them.After that I have sat every evening like this,wondering what's next.

"You have suffered enough punishment and there's no redemption for you.The only option you have is in front of you"

He talks shit.He really does but it is also true.One's conscience doesn't lie.As I pick up the gun,point it at my own head and shoot,he calmly says 'those who live by the gun,die by it'

Lost Souls

Tortured yet hopeful,

Like the parched land,

Moving but nowhere,

Floating like particles of sand.

A zealot's belief,

Each other's faith as well as fault,

Groping at what could be,

yet wishing for the moment to halt.

Like two compatible imperfections,

Creating a separate perfect world,

Forgetting that we are aberrations but,

Fretting when their machinations unfurl.

And hoping to find some hope,

We scavenge across their Universe,

Trying to find a place to hide,

while our happiness they vilely curse.

They make themselves to break us,

The Society,rules,expectations,destiny,

And yet here we are today,

the only place we were meant to be.

We find solace in each other,

for we are simply two lost souls,

wanting to be ourselves separately,

yet together seeking to be whole.

Labyrinth..

Lead me and then leave me,
Each time in different ways,
You delight,you disappoint,
A maze that ceases to amaze.

I keep staring at you,
You amuse,you confuse,
I ask just question of you,
The answer you always refuse.

Intrigued,I delve deeper,
And just get more lost in you,
More I try deciphering you,
You just bring me back when you want to.

A part of me wants to stop moving ahead,
But I am like the mice on the wheel,
Countless hours I try resisting uselessly,
It's as if with the devil I made a deal.

Deceiving me with every turn,
Then providing passages to make me think,
Till I lose all desire to leave you,
You are my Labyrinth.

Pappu Ki Tharak..

Pappu baitha tha in office,
Umar ho gayi thi uski tees,
Ghar ho ya ho office ki building,
Har jagah try karta fielding.

Tharak,Pappu ki Tharak,
Na bachi koi gali,na koi sadak.

Par kaise milegi koi ladki,
Jab zindagi mein ho kadki,
7 digit salary ek sawaal,ek khwaab,
Fir Pappu ki tharak ne diya use jawaab.

Pappu beta kar le tu MBA,
CAT dekar pahuncha IIM K,
Pappu ko laga he is in heaven,
Campus mein paayi 35% women.

Tharak,Pappu ki Tharak,
Na bachi koi gali,na koi sadak.

Pappu chahe ladkiyaan saari,
par har ladki ne use GPL maari,
Pappu hua udaas,bana Devdas,
Raat mein daaru aur din mein grass.

Placement ne badhaye Pappu ke gum,
Location paayi Kunnamanglam,
Beete kuch saal,Pappu bana ek Cheta,
Aur us se bada kameena,nikla uska beta,

Pappu ki tharak use paas on hui thodi,
Saale ne Kunnamanglam ki ek chechi na chodhi,
Tharak,Pappu ki Tharak,
Na bachi koi gali,na koi sadak.


First attempt at song writing :P

Running In Circles...

She sat there.Pondering.Looking at him.He was happy.His worries seemed forgotten.Among friends.Envy,sadness,affection,all running through her mind.She envied all of them.She rued the fact that he simply refused to acknowledge her with others around.

He sat there.Relieved.Yet he worried about her.She had been acting strange lately.Needy and possessive.Each moment increased his unwillingness to be with her.He was having second thoughts about this relation.He rued all those times he had spent with her.

A forced relation.A relation based on needs.A relationship of convenience.They had met 4 years earlier after his divorce.He had needed his space.Others had advised him both against the separation as well as this relation.But he was drawn to her.She was willing to be with anybody who asked for her company.And the passion with which he desired her,she was always ready to be there for him

But time outgrows needs and he slowly outgrew her.The only problem being that she had become used to him.He was one of the few who had made her feel wanted.

The evening over.He sat in his car.Like always he found her waiting.He started driving.There was not much to say.She was never big on conversation.It always felt as if he was talking to himself not that it mattered much to her.He was happy enough to be wanted.

But for him it was time to move on.He had had enough.He realized that he had the space he needed,but it was just filled with nothingness.

He turned his car around.Drove towards his ex-wife's house.He parked his car and stepped out.Leaving her behind,staring at his back.She was Loneliness.

A Song For You..

Rushing through crowds,
Thousand things to say,
Getting to each other,
& then turning away.

A step forward,
Then two behind,
Believers of destiny,
Happy with what we find.

Separate worlds,
We both belong to,
In different spheres,
with a common view.

So steal a glance,
Share a smile,
Read my mind,
Stay a while.

You being around isn't being with you,
but times together are too few,
And every moment you are there,
is better than one without you.

Hear me out loud today,
singing for just us two,
A song from me,
A song for you.


Writing mush and not writing anything at all..chose the lesser of two evils. :P

Cry..

I know that she will cry,
till her conscience will die,
Dreams will linger awhile,
Moving away mile-by-mile.

Did you hear the pleading voice?
Maybe it got lost in the noise,
Destiny's minor slip,
Alive once,now a fading blip.

The clouds of gloom will part,
The darkness will leave their heart,
Every time she told herself aloud,
whilst her future lay adorned in a shroud.

Used,reused,abused,
to a commodity,an individual reduced,
Her sentence has been read,
Now to the gallows,hope be lead.

Yet,her silence wasn't consent,
Just her faith totally spent,
We simply stood and stared,
While her soul was bared.

As she looks into my cold eyes,
She has stopped questioning 'why'?
Her tears will never run dry,
I know that she will cry.