That is the question which has raised a furor amongst many a political and self-proclaimed moral policing outfits after the elopement of a female Cocker-Spaniel with a male Boxer,from Bandra,a suburb in Mumbai.
Binabaat Raadakar,spokesperson for Parvati Army which is at the forefront of the protest,on being approached,had this to say,"This is intolerable.Do you know who the Boxer is owned by?!A Bhaiya!We shall kidnap all bitches from UP to extract vengeance!"
On being asked if there were no relevant issues to raise,Mr.Raadakar was scathing,"How are we to survive?!Bigger political parties steal all our cool ideas like beating up cabbies,burning books,vandalizing colleges etc.We have filed a case of IPR(Intelligence to Properly Riot) violation against all such outfits."
Meanwhile,UP Chief Minister Mayawati has decided to replace the statues of 12,34,234 Elephants that she has built across UP using public money,with that of the canine couple and hold a State Banquet in their honour.This is what she had to say,"She chose the dog from UP because Uttar Pradesh is Uttam Pradesh!My generous gesture for the couple is also a message to Rahul Gandhi and agitating farmers in Noida,'Make Love,Not War'",following it up with a flying kiss.
Last heard,Rahul Gandhi has gone into hiding after receiving this message from Ms.Mayawati.
Meanwhile,a Khap Panchayat in Haryana is also up in arms against this union and has declared that the couple be stoned on sight,"How can they marry?!!I have traced their pedigree and the couple belongs to the same Gotra!".A reward of 10000 bones has also been declared for any dog which might possess any information about the couple.
Meanwhile,Pakistan has raised this issue to attack India in international circles,Bakwaas Sayani,Pakistani Representative to the UN told the media,"Janaab,have you ever heard of a dog being harmed in Pakistan?70 people may die in blasts daily but there are no casualties of dogs".In a huge gaffe he added,"Hamare vatan mein har kutte ka istiqbal(welcome) hai!".Reports suggest that attacks by Taliban have intensified after this statement.
Jairam Ramesh,the Minister for Environment who is also handling Animal Welfare Department,on being approached,assaulted our reporter,"I don't give a shit about dogs!I just care about CAT!Tell me,do you thinks IITs,IIMs are world class?Tell me!",to which our reporter replied,"No Idea",at which point Abhishek Bachchan appeared out of nowhere and our reporter had to flee the scene.
Even Bollywood has displayed interest in this story and reports suggest that Ekta Kapoor,the head of Balaji Telefilms is joining hands with popular film director Karan Johar to produce a TV show tentatively titled 'Kahani Kutton Kay-It's all about loving your Pets'.Rakhi Sawant and Dolly Bindra are said to be pitching for the lead role.
However the couple has found an unlikely supporter in veteran actor Dharmendra,he said,"All my life I have been threatening the canine community about drinking their blood,this is my chance for redemption;the couple is welcome at my home,they can take Bobby's room,ullu da pattha still can't get a hit movie without me!"
The couple which has maintained silence so far,has requested PETA(Please Engage Troubling Assholes) to act on their behalf.Illaiya Nunnuswami, PETA Chairman, made this statement,"Clearly,the nation has gone to the dogs, but the dogs of the nation have epitomized the ideals of Love,Tolerance and Co-existence we were once famous for".
Clearly,our nation has 99 problems,but a bitch ain't one!
