“I dream of a world without women, they have been causing all the problems right from Helen of Troy causing a war between Greeks and Trojans to Katrina Kaif causing the one between Khans!”, yelled Ashray after he and Nishita had fought for the umpteenth time during the day.
“Fine, you are sleeping in the drawing room tonight”, Nishita yelled back.
Next Morning
Ashray wakes up, he finds the bedroom door still bolted; still angry at Nishita,he has breakfast,gets ready and leaves for office without the customary goodbye. He reaches the local railway station and hallelujah, the trains half empty. In his ecstasy of finding a place to sit, he completely ignores the fact that it’s only the ladies’ coaches.
He gets off at his destination and takes a rickshaw for office; the rickshawala seems to be in a jolly mood too, “Sir so less traffic problems today, seems like they are no women drivers”, he chuckled.
He reaches office and sees that his gorgeous receptionist is replaced by a menacing looking guy, he casually asks,”Where is Rosaline?”.The guy gives him a glare and says, “Haven’t you seen the papers?All the female population of the planet mysteriously vanished last night!”
“Wow!I should have wished for a billion dollars too!”
He walks and sees that his sentiments are echoed by all male colleagues.
“Nobody nagged me while watching cricket last night!”
“Nobody forced me to wash the dishes after dinner.”
“I didn’t have to watch Saas-Bahu serials while having dinner”
“I don’t have to endure shopping anymore!”.
“We are all free from being human calendars and having to celebrate anniversaries of First Eye Contact, First Conversation, First Gifts exchanged bla bla bla”. So on and so forth they all went.
Ashray thought this was Diwali, Christmas, Id, New Year all rolled into one.
Two months later
Ashray walks into office. No receptionist. He drags himself towards his computer and reads the latest news, the headline ‘Manmohan Singh government resigns as there is no Sonia Gandhi to direct them!’
The next one reads, ’Architects and Sculptors in U.P on verge of starvation as no new parks and statues are being commissioned with Mayawati gone'
He browses to the next page, ’Thousands jobless as general entertainment channels like Colors, Star, Zee, Sony shut down due to lack of viewership. Male viewership of News channels hit too due to absence of female news anchors’
He hopes that the international news might be better but it isn’t so, ‘Fears of US going into recession due to shutting down of FMCG giants like Loreal, Maybelline etc as well as Apparel/Accessories manufacturing firms’
He shuts off his PC, thinks about the past few days, schools being closed due to lack of teachers, people falling ill due hygiene issues in absence of Bais, people not getting proper treatment at hospitals for lack of nurses.
“Dude you won’t believe this,Bobby Darling has become the highest paid female actress surpassing Rakhi Sawant(yeah,somehow she survived)”,yelled somebody in office.
He has had enough and decides to leave for home, he switches on the TV and sees a cop in Bandra telling a reporter how his livelihood has been affected as there are no more couples at Bandstand to extort money from,he flips channels and sees Anil Kapoor and Himesh Reshammiya doing a commercial for Veet Hair removing cream.
This was the cherry of shit on a cake of sand, the world just can’t be worth living without women.
He puts a noose around his neck and steps off the chair,feels a tug at his neck and somebody yells,”You lazy moron,don’t you have to go to work?!”
He opens his eyes and sees Nishita trying to shake him awake and just mutters to himself,”I am so sorry!World without women isn’t a dream, it’s a nightmare!”
Written as an entry for a short story competition at Accenture..fingers crossed! :D
