Celebrity..An Ode To Paris Hilton et al

I know it's a mission impossible,
like FIFA World Cup featuring the Indian team,
But like every middle class person,
becoming a celebrity is my dream!

A cricketer,a movie star,a politician,
Even being a Pg 3 personality would do,
Forgetting all concerns over human dignity,
I'll readily act in a K-serial too.

Even being dumb would make news,
People would finally listen to my drunken rants,
Every stupidity could become a new style statement,
including going out partying without any underpants!

My inactive blog would have visitors and comments,
I could even tweet about time I spent in the toilet,
And if anybody ever finds anything offensive,
I could simply claim that they always misinterpret.

Women who tried to get rid of me by tying rakhis,
would want me to hold a 'swayamvadhu',
I'll throw tantrums publicly for a change,
Because that's what a celeb is supposed to do!

Pretty easy to become one,that aliens kidnapped my cows,
to some news channel I could tell,
I could ask someone to forcibly kiss me,
or simply fall down a tubewell.

After a couple of weeks..

Damn,it's hard to find tubewells in city,
& Bobby Darling was the only celeb willing to kiss me,
though Abhishek and John may have made it cool,
a Gay Icon,I ain't ready to be.

But I assure that there'll be a time when,
they'll bid for my used toilet paper on e-Bay,
So my Dad turns overnight into Vijay Mallya,
is something I have begun to daily pray!



Had fun writing this one..visualizing people like Paris Hilton,Lindsay Lohan,Kamal R Khan in my mind,had started on it a month back and then had put it on a backburner..already started working like a celeb! :P

Paimona..

Sometimes,you just have an indefinable craving to share what you have experienced :).Below is the translation of a Persian poem written by Omar Khayyam.I came across it on another blog.Advise you to check out its rendition by Zeb and Haniya which is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.

Bring me the chalice, so I may lose myself,
for, I'm in love with my Beloved’s intoxicating Gaze.
Your Eyes light up my secret garden
Your Face makes luminous every rose therein.
Face like a flower, it give petals their sweet fragrance
The mystic land of my Beloved is placeless.

I'm in love with my Beloved’s intoxicating Gaze,
Bring! bring! so I may annihilate myself.
Bring me the chalice, so I may lose myself.

If I hear the message of Your sacred arrival,
Under Your feet, I will spread a carpet of flowers.
Spread flowers, Spread rose flowers,
I will sacrifice myself at the dust of Your feet.
Bring me the chalice, so I may lose myself,
I'm in love with my Beloved’s intoxicating Gaze.

Journey Without End..

Date: 23rd October, 2007.

Alarm rings, wake up, brush your teeth, have a bath, breakfast, grab the newspaper, head out for college, catch the 7.30 a.m train for Bandra.

Every special day starts with the same ordinary things.

Jostle through the sea of humanity, get on the train; mission accomplished.

Vacant seat found, the feeling is equivalent to winning the World Cup for a rush-hour traveler in a Mumbai local.

I settle down and open the crossword, and can God be any crueler! I see an aged woman standing right in front of me. Times have changed, Knights of the Past have been replaced by harried commuters and Fair Princesses by Aged Women. I vacate my seat, half-chivalrous, half-grumpy and start looking around for a place to stand and that’s when time stops for me; There she stood in all her glory, in the Ladies compartment, smiling at me from across the grille.

If my life was some Hollywood movie, I am sure James Blunt would have started crooning,

“I saw your face, in a crowded place,

And I don’t know what to do?”

Now considering that I am no Tom Cruise (or even Shakti Kapoor), girls only smile at guys like me when we are making a fool of ourselves. The top 3 possible explanations in my mind, ”My fly is open.”, “ I have a stupid expression on my face.”, “I am dreaming.” . Check the fly, put on a serious expression, pinch myself and she still smiles. All three explanations nullified!

It takes a shove from some jerk to bring me back to Local-Trainland; I do what any sane person would have done at first go, I smile back. She waves and if love at first wave existed, I think I had it.

I had one special thing added to the list of ordinary things each morning; her smiling and waving at me. I say, forget getting AC coaches, just get a pretty female to smile at you from across the coach, local train travel becomes so tolerable.

I kept moving closer to the partition each day, feeling like Moses parting the Red Sea (in my case, smelly people) in slow motion. And one fine day I am standing next to her; we start chatting as if we have known each other for ages (which we have, right?). That 1 hr of travelling together, slowly becomes the best hour of the day for both of us, and one fine day, I find the courage to ask her, “Do you mind travelling in my compartment?”

She starts laughing, “I thought you were going to ask something else.”

And realizing, it was my cue to do, as they say colloquially, ”Chance Pe Dance”, I say, ”What if I did ask you what you thought I would?”

She smiles and replies, “You really are the Slow Local”.

And then we became one compartment from two!

Life couldn’t have been better. Time flew by like the stations going past, memories crowding our minds like people getting in.

23^rd October 2009, our 2^nd Anniversary, we are both done with college and have started working; I want to take her out for shopping. She insists we travel by train, “It is what brought us together, you know.”

It is drizzling steadily, the train is unusually empty. We both are standing at the door (Only a Mumbaiikar can find such a setting romantic). We feel as close to each other as we have ever felt. We look outside but think about each other.

Out of nowhere, there is a huge jolt, the compartment is in the air and gets off the track(I later get to know a pipeline fell on the train); I see her falling out of the door, my hand reaching out to her…

...there is a sudden jolt, I wake up, she, my wife now, is smiling at me, “We have reached Bandra and I don’t need to be saved again, oldie!” . I look down to find that I am holding her hand tight, just the way I had held it 40 years back on that day. I smile,”Just making sure I don’t end any journey without you, alone.

Author's Note - Got myself medically tested after writing this, Testosterone levels were at an all-time low :D

First Post after getting an Editor.Thanks Jules :)